Discount Diccionario

You get what you pay for. And I think I paid about a buck. I saw this cute little diccionario in Pali, the local super market in Sa'mara. Pali looks like a prison. Barbed wire topped 15ft high chain-link fences surround it. There's even a watchtower. You just never know when some ambitious tomato is going to try to roll out of there when no one is looking. The first problem (for a tomato) would be hitting the floor and still being able to roll. I guess a tomato would have to land on its side to roll, too. Very precise landing and on a soft spot so as not to spoil rolling ability and cause a big mess. But wait....tomatoes escape from the grocery store all the time in grocery bags! Ahaha! It's those bad tomatoes that try to roll in after hours that they are trying to keep out. So, the diccionario...(I should look up how to say "I am swerving off the subject again"). The bottom line is, the diccionario is going into the trash tonight. I'm not even going to leave it in my hotel room so someone else can have it. It would absolutely not benefit anyone except someone like me with funny-head (my brain perks up and jiggles at strange things - ah, this is my bumper sticker: I LAUGH FOR ANYTHING or maybe I BRAKE FOR UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER). Let me brake here and give you an example of what you cannot find in this diccionario: The word "wait". Waiter, yes. Wait, no. "Weft" and "wrongdoer", yes. "Wait", no. The word "leave" (as in I don't want to leave Samara). I just have to say "No quiero leave Samara" because the word is just not there. "Run". Come on. "Run" is not in here! But, if I'm using "ruffian" or "riffraff" in a sentence, I'm covered. "Pen"? No. "Penis", "peckish" and "pendular", yes. Oooooooh, now here's a great ice breaker: Hola, tienes un hambriento pene puedo usar?  Ah, gracias! Pendulo, man! Whoa that translates really weirdly in babelfish. The word for "peckish" translates as "hungry". Basically, hey do you have a peckish penis I can borrow? Pendular, man! Okay, weird sentence. VERY weird. And the word "weird" IS in this thing called a diccionario, and should be on the front cover. Hey, I wonder about "very".  Let's look it up! Nope, "very" is not in this little piece of barco diccionario. Well, we all know that one anyway. Ex: Meret es muy loco. So, "very" is not there, but we do have "vertebral" and "videocassette", again not usually used in conversation. No one uses video cassettes anymore and when they did, they didn't call them video cassettes. And anyway, the word in spanish is "videocasete".  "Vertebral". Let's use that in a sentence. Well, how about in yoga class: "Oh, you're so vertebral!" Don't make me translate that into spanish. Oh, okay. More of Meret's bad spanish. "Tu eres muy vertebral". "Ten". The word for "ten" is not in. 1-9, yes. 10, no. So, if you want to tell someone they are a "10", you woul have to say, "Tu eres un nuevos mas uno". Or something. Weird. I mean, "Misterioso"! Also, If your birthday is in May or August, forget it. You will have to say "Mi cumpleanos es en el mes despues abril" Or you can just suddenly remember that you know how to say May in spanish because of Cinco de Mayo!  I mentioned a hotel earlier in the post. Did you notice and wonder why??. Yes, we are in a hotel in Allajuela, Costa Rica. We unfortunately missed our 6:20am flight (no, it was not our fault). So we checked into a Holiday Inn at 6:30am this morning! Had breakfast at Denny's, where we managed to order the Meatlover's Scramble with no meat. That waitress must of thought we were so bizarre. Anyway, Denny's. Big mistake. Costa mucho dinaro y la comida NO fue rica ? Bad. Like my spanish.  But, tonight, we went to a restaurant called Jalapenos Central. Top of the list in Trip Advisor for Allajuela. We got a $6 taxi ride to this place run by a Columbian from New York City who makes GREAT mexican food. His name is Norm. He saw me looking puzzled-ly at my drink and he came over to our table to explain. It was called Cas or Caz. Tastes like a combo of mango, lime and kiwi. He said this fruit is so hard it has to be smashed open. Then blended up and sweetened. He hates it. But, I thought ooooh,  yummy-summer-drink. Great guy. He's been there 8 years and loves it. Oh, and two of his waitresses will just break into song when they feel like it. Steve and I give this restaurant dos pulgares arriba! I got those words out of my diccionario just before I put it on the next train to the dumpster.