Nasty Badass Meret Badger

Today the ocean relented. Maybe it's the moon, but I think it is because I sacrificed my ankle bracelet to the ocean twice. I had this cute ankle bracelet the color of my toenails with a little pearly stone. I tied my best knot and it was swallowed up by Mother ocean within minutes. But, one of the local vendors found it at the beach, had seen me wearing it, and gave it to Lyn and Athena! So, for a day, I had it back. This time I had a boy scout tie a square knot. I pulled hard trying to break it or untye it, but it was not budg-able by human hands. Mother laughed and swallowed harder. Okay, okay. Mother Ocean. You can have it. You did give me Steve back the other day. Can you just have mercy on me today out there with the big boy waves? Marco said we should have a leccion at 9:30 today and we would paddle out. So. The words "paddle out" probably don't effect you much, right? I can say "paddle out" many times and you will just yawn I suppose. But, these two words "paddle out" have been something like...well, in these next sentences, I will replace the words "paddle out" with the terror-based words that my body hears (was hearing) and responds to (w-a-a-s responding to) accordingly. Here goes: La, la, la, Oh, so, Meret, today we are going to "have lunch in the river with a 12 ft long (with tail) starving crocodile". You have to be brave and strong, and by all means DO NOT PANIC when you "have lunch in the river with a 12 ft long (with tail) starving crocodile". You have to relax and keep going when you "have lunch in the river with the 12 ft long (with tail) starving crocodile". Otherwise, you will die. Do you get the picture? Can you FEEL THIS? If you can stop laughing for a moment and get serious with me here, can you experience the terror? The absurd, electrifying, deer-in-the-head-lights state of distraction that this seemingly harmless phase causes (no, no...... ha-a-a-s caused) in this body? Well. Today. With the help of Steve, Lyn, the goddess Athena and the crazy nastyass honey badger (see the link below for the honey badger), I surfed those mother fuckers (geez, am I going to edit that out. are my parents reading this? pleeeeeez, pleeeez  translate that as "Lord God I Love Life Today"...because that is the truth). I am high as a 747! Happy as those monkeys in the trees. It's just an inexpressable feeling that can only be pointed at with four letter word expletives. However, Hallelujah works pretty well too. Please do watch the video about the nastybadass honey badger. You will hear my mantra "[Meret] Badger don't care, she just EATS [waves]!"

NASTY BADASS HONEY BADGER
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg